Uptheodds Poker

Summer Poker Review

While passing the halfway point of the 2019 Slow Play Saloon season, I thought we should revisit our beloved blog in an attempt to rile up the masses.

5 Games Left and some of you are still continuing to embarrass yourselves with sub par play or missing tournaments altogether.

I thought if I associated players with a famous person this might drive home the importance of how some of you are perceived every third Friday of the month.

I'll apologize in advance as some of you may be offended with the following analogies. Most I believe are very close comparisons.

Since Frank has a good since of humor we will start with him.

Quiet Italian that your pretty sure you do not want to "F" with. Fronts include construction rackets and the wholesale rabbit trade. Many players that have questioned his play are said to be under a pile of dirt in the driveway. Rumor also has it he was under suspicion for evading kids labor laws due to age of his servers during poker events.

On to Josh

I was stuck trying to find an mediocre Attorney with a similarly bizarre hairstyle that plays poker albeit poorly in most cases. After searching all corners of the Internet I had to make a tough call. This one does hit all the check marks

Attorney - ✔

Questionable hairstyle - ✔

Plays poker - ✔

Likes Girls - ✔

Height under 5'4" - ✔

Is not always the man in the relationship - ✔

How about our ever so angry host Aaron

Talk of chops, re-buys, 10 person final tables or a any "AK" calling his "all in" could spell disaster.

Somewhere between 1 and 18 German beers is usually when his temper gets tested.

He has been known to preemptively raise blinds from $200-$400 to $5000-$10000 on hand after he is eliminated.

It has been said that when he visits Germany for Oktoberfest, the locals even cower when he starts on his third stein.

Tony is our last review. The black sheep of the league he tends to donk his way into the top 10 only to donk it right back off again come summers end into Fall.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer he likes his beer and occasional chewing tobacco. Currently in 5th place an outsider might mistake him as a "contender" or "player" but us fellow players can see past this facade.

Originally invited by a player who was invited by a player who was invited by a player his origins still confound the group.

As not much of a threat, his $100 donation a month will ensure his email stays on the invite list for many years to come. I would appreciate it if one of you could help Tony with the big words on this blog.

In closing I'm hoping to do a few more blogs this season and will consider requests for future posts.

Uptheodds.com

Lessons by appointment only

Miller skips town

Millers new apartment complex

As you all know we lost one of our regulars when Mark Miller moved to Florida to become a Scientologist. The pictures below are a small reminder on how much we really wanted him to move away years ago. Sure we will miss his periodic text shares of naked wife or the almost monthly guarantee of him drinking 8 oz Heineken's just so his hands didn't look so small and feminine.

From Amway to Poker he was always trying to get my money with some scheme.

Here he is with dog in the shower he initially thought was a gerbil.

Here is another doozy. Now when looking at following photo is this the type of person we want to be seen hanging out with?

Now we didn't hate everything about Mr. Miller. He did by some grace of God, trap or blackmail his way into a pretty good looking wife. Speculation is that she is has been heavy sedated or drugged after being smuggled out of Yugoslavia back in the 80's.

In closing, I say good riddens. Outside of Josh and Aaron I believe Miller has always been the black sheep of the group anyways. As far as I'm concerned, Miller, John Travolta, Tom Cruise and the rest of the Scientology crowd can pound sand.

PS. Dont let him see this as I'm looking forward to free lodging on my next trip south!

Head Coach

2016

Slow Play Saloon Year end awards

As we look ahead to the 2017 season at the slow play saloon I thought it might be nice to recognize some accomplishments, embarrassments and overall rankings from this past season. After compiling info and stats from countless contributors, websites and ranking services we here at the uptheodds.com poker academy proudly present the following 2016 awards.

2016 forgot "A" game award goes to...
Josh..... Monthly point average of 1.45 is embarrassing

Best player to sit near award goes to...

Miller - Always shares naked pictures of wife on phone👍

Most beers consumed in 2016

Javier - Pokerpages.com puts him at 11.8 beers per game. A new record🍺

Most cookies consumed in 2016

Pete. stats show he may have eaten or taken to go over 92% off all cookies available🍪

Best Hair

Tie - John P and Dan C

Worst Hair

R.J. Unanimously

Best off site location

It was close but Frank and Corrine take the win

Worst attorney

3 way tie

Cutest Couple

Josh and Scott

Runner up Frank and Corrine

Best Uptheodds.com Student

Dan C - Another Uptheodds.com Academy success story

Congratulations to all the 2016 Winners!

Slow play saloon Vegas Odds for 2017 season

Javier 8/1

Aaron 9/1

Head Coach 9/2

Dan 9/1

Frank 11/1

Willis 30/1

Josh 3500/1

Miller 10/1

R.J. 25/1

Dan C 9/1

Jim D 15/1

Pete 30/1

Kyle 75/1

Mark S 50/1

Josh saying "they were suited" - Off

Corrine 11/1

John P 30/1

John P's Hair moving 1000/1

Willy 50/1

Steve D 10/1

Colin 9/1

The Field 25/1

Odds of 2 women playing same month 100/1

Meatballs on Menu - Off

Game on TV bigger than 19" 1500/1

Aaron's Computer crashes 2/1

Pete goes back to back on most Cookies - Off

We all start tomorrow night and hope to play next December. 11 games left. Everyone is tied for first. Don't fall too far behind.

Stats courtesy of satire

Lessons available

As Summer ends, vacations wrap up, we get the kids back to school and football season starts, We all seem to find ourselves looking for a more ways to get in some poker.

Whether its a $1-$2 cash game or a WSOP Circuit event, the action keeps us all coming back in hopes of the heater of all heaters.

I though it would be nice to take a closer look at some of our local players. People that sit with us at a game once a month or so and some that we play with 4-5 times a week.

Now being conscious of peoples feeling and the obvious notion that some would like to remain anonymous I will use only first names, nicknames and last names that are popular like Miller and Smith(but you'll know how I'm referring to).

With all walks of life at these games it makes for a fun time for most and a great time when one of them gets angry. We all know the 1/2 dozen guys that are dipshits when they lose.

A few years back I attempted to find animated characters that looked like some of our fellow poker players. I'm ready to give this another try. Lets see how well I can match a cartoon with a poker player you may know.

Scott. This is how he looks with AA or when he cracks AA.

Jay. Explanation not needed.

Our pissed off dealer...PUSH THE DAMN CARDS IN SO I CAN REACH! I NEED MORE WHITE CHIPS! MY ASS IS SWEATY. WHY IS DAVE SO GOOD LOOKING!

Tough call here but based on their play I'd go with Max and Anthony. In either order.

Shortbus Stan says "sucksouts make me So Angry"

MC - The host - with no dates since mid 80's, sexuality must be questioned

Yours truly

Cal and Sammy always seem to going out to the car for something medicinal.

Now while some of you did not make it this time around I am always looking for my next subjects. So whether your a sub par lawyer, Car salesman or an IT guy keep in mind that my I'm always taking notes and working on my next blog entry.

Don't forget to Vote on the Poll

If anyone is offended please email your complaints to:

Ihavenosinceofhumorandimadoush@coleco.com

Poker lessons by appointment only
All rights reserved
Copyright 2016 - Uptheodds.com

I KNOW HE IS LISTED IN 3RD BUT HE SWEARS IT WAS 2ND

THIS GOES TO SHOW YOU THAT WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.....AND STAY AWAY FROM THE DAIRY PRODUCTS.......ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

SEE YOU FRIDAY

HEAD COACH

Alles Gute Zum Geburtstag Aaron!

the first to 50 (outside Bobo and Bob Sr)

The Department of environmental protection in conjunction with the department of homeland security has cleared Aarons Basement of toxic levels of Propazine Ethyl Radon Uranium (PERU). They are low enough levels to resume the game in Manchester location. Please be advised that attendees do so at there own risk due to possibility of another contamination at any time.

First I would be remiss if I did not give a huge shout out to Mike (great) White for coming in 191st in the 2015 WSOP Main Event. All of us from Merrows game where watching with excitement over the 5 days you played. The online updates and WSOP blog kept us on the edge of our seats as you took the ride of your life.

Your deep run made us proud (and some money)

Thanks Mike

Now on to the Manchester game for this week

The Slow Play Saloon in July mean smaller fields and that we are down to 5 more months in this years battle for the Tournament of Champions.

Vacations and other summer commitments will surely thin out the attendees over the next few months giving the people who show the chance to move up in the points.

JUNES OBSERVATIONS

Neils cash in 5th proves that even the least talented players can make the money

Willis was the Overall chip leader then short stack, then chip leader again only to donk it off in 7th.

Javier was in charge of keeping results correct. We all know how that worked out.

Terrance made his tournament debut (for about 3 minutes) and was out first

And Frank took home field advantage all the way to the bank.

A great offsite tournament in all.

Friday gives us all another shot. 7:00PM sharp if you want the x-tra chip.

Thanks once more to the Great White for the deep WSOP main event run

Lets do it again in 2016

Head Coach

Lessons available by appointment only

Contact us at

Donky@Merrowisterribleatcards.com

As we look to this Fridays game (offsite again) due to Javiers Cheese consumption back at the April Tourney we have been watching from afar the 2015 WSOP. Sadly there have been literally no players from Connecticut making deep runs let alone winning Bracelets.

Reviewing some of the people I play poker with monthly I think I understand why Connecticut fairs so poorly.

Here is a few examples of what CT has to offer the poker world.